I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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