called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There r osticjed everywhere
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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