Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
