I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
