people are starting to question the shark bite story
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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