I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Randomize
