well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
