She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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