you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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