UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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