I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
