We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
