At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
