WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My breasts were aching with rage.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
