you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
