A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
