What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
