so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
