If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I love having hate sex.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
