You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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