There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
