I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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