This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
