Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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