the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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