Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
