the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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