I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Randomize
