Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
