google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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