apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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