"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
