the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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