Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I smell like Dick and happiness
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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