Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
