we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
