I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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