i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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