im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
