im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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