"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
