I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
