my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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