A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
