you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
