Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
