The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
