Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
