Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
