you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
