Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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