how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
