i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
