i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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