i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
